I have to say it’s nice when you get to know someone, spend time with them, talk with them, then decide after a while, hey, why don’t we try going out on a date? But, it seems things aren’t always like that. There’s a certain amount of prowling behavior that some people are more prone to that can cause a bit of awkwardness.
For example, I’m a very friendly person, or so I’d like to think. When someone posts a picture of their pet, they’re automatically adorable. When someone posts a selfie, they automatically look great. I’m not objective, I sugar coat things, and I admit that. No one thinks everyone and everything on Earth looks perfect.
Now, it’s gossip time! My friend is also a very kind person. She and I have made friends with this big group of people who are all wonderful (see, there I did it again!) Keep in mind this group is a platonic one and not some kind of singles mixer or anything. So, everyone started sharing selfies online and my friend commented on all of them, telling them how good they looked and that they were handsome or beautiful. But something like that can backfire, for sure. One individual had no one else comment on his selfie. He took the compliment as something more: that she was interested in him. Now, keep in mind she’s already explained to everyone that she’s unavailable.
So the guy immediately goes into well, no one ever tells me I am handsome which was just fishing for another compliment. Of course my BFF obliges and then that apparently means she’s even more interested. So, he says do you want to sext with me? and he’s given a hard-line no. Then he kept trying to work around it. He asked her if she would have sex on the first date. So, after so many no‘s he tries to backpedal and everything, but he’s irritated her too much and gotten on her bad side. I don’t blame her, and I hope you don’t either. Oh, yeah, then he goes onto the group chat and posts: do you ever feel like nobody wants to be in a relationship with you?
Now, this guy is still a part of our group. At least online, anyway; it remains to be seen if he’ll actually show back up in person. I’m pretty sure she wasn’t the only one he hit on in that way. Talk about making things awkward! Fortunately, he doesn’t know about my website or blog, but if you’re reading this, and you know who you are, take this as a lesson that you can’t just do things like go up to a girl and say hi, nice to meet you, let’s naughty-text?
I don’t know, maybe some people are into that. But you should at least be sure they want that kind of thing, or are in a forum where it’d be expected to want that kind of thing. But some people are just on the prowl and are looking for some easy prey, undeterred by the amount of rejection they’re going to get trying to find it.
Anyway, I told her she was too nice to him and she has to expect that something like that would happen, and she shrugged me off. So maybe I’m not that friendly of a person after all! What do you think about that kind of behavior? Am I overreacting?
💕 Kaitlyn
What an interesting topic! I hope your friend is careful in the future. What is said or done online can misinterpreted rather easily, because you don’t know how they are saying it. What is their body language and tone of voice? Well we simply don’t know, because we’re not physically with the person communicating with them. Remember your friend opened the door by giving this guy a compliment, and he was probably paying attention to everyone else’s which probably upset him. Why is everyone else getting the attention and not me? Tread carefully is what I’d say with this fellow. Once you open Pandora’s box it is impossible to close ever again. I don’t know how big your group of friends are, but chances are at least one of them may not be what they seem. So be careful. Feeling’s can be hurt easily online. So say things and do things online carefully. This cannot be emphasized enough. We have to act in a responsible way when engaged in online activity. And most of all look after yourself and your own wellfare. I hope your friend listens to you in the future. BE CAREFUL ONLINE!
Hey, Thomas! I think in this case it probably wouldn’t have been much different in person. Maybe a different choice of words or something, but he seems pretty assertive for someone with such low self confidence. But you’re right, it really is a Pandora’s box. It’s kinda sad we can’t just be kind and nice without having it backfire sometimes. I know I’m guilty of it myself and it’s gotten me into trouble in the past. Gotta be careful online, and in person, too!
BTW he did the “no one likes me” post again tonight after I posted this!