December 20, 2019
Despite how much I love Christmas, I really can’t stand Christmas carols. There’s two types, really. Songs that have been around for forever, and newer songs that were made specifically to sell for Christmas. The older songs just feel so outdated to me, and I hate that pandering of the newer ones, just the commercialization of what should be a special time.
Apparently, 1/3rd of Twitter agrees with me. By the way, have you seen a poll this neck and neck before? And one of the answers getting exactly 0 votes?
Anyway, I think my absolute favorite Christmas song is a parody of Baby it’s Cold Outside titled Baby Just Go Outside. After the whole thing a year ago about how the classic song is ultimately about a man pressuring a woman to stay, this song was jokingly recorded. If you haven’t heard it, I highly recommend you do! It’s really funny!
On a serious note, the #MeToo movement exposed a lot of things over the last couple of years. Men taking advantage of women had been commonplace for millennia, something that has been long overdue to change. What caused this to take place though? Something finally happened that was the catalyst of this change in thinking that has affected many of us.
(Edit after I reread this post: now I’m scared because this is such a sensitive subject and I’m a relatively light and fluffy blogger.)
Some people might call this some kind of political issue, but I prefer to keep politics out of it. I think most of us can agree that we should all be treated equally. We expect everyone in our society to be caring, considerate, and kind to each other. This is a good message.
I’m not going to talk about me during this post, other than I find that song really funny, but I’d rather just focus on the issue and make sure we’re all on the same page.
Did you know that this movement has its roots way back in 2006 on MySpace?! Well, wikipedia taught me something new, again! A woman, Tarana Burke, had been sexually harassed and came forward with her story. Many since her had shared their stories since then. It wasn’t until 11 years later, in the end of 2017, when it really garnered national and worldwide attention. Allegations came forward against some prominent figures and celebrities, and these allowed others to share their stories as well.
I think some people are quick to be dismissive about the whole thing because it’s been the status quo for so long. But the time had finally come for us all to be treated well. I argue that this isn’t about men taking advantage of women, this is about people taking advantage of others. People with power taking advantage over those with little power.
It seems much of this is centered around Hollywood, and I think that’s just because of the media attention it’s garnered from high-profile figures. Even the President of the United States was subjected to the scrutiny over it (though it had been already talked about since before his election).
I don’t think you need a lesson in what the right thing to do is.
If you’re a good man, thank you for being that way! If you’ve had indiscretions in the past, I hope you choose not to live that way anymore, and I welcome you with open arms.
If you’re a woman who has been affected by this, you can speak up, but only if you really want to. I understand that many don’t want to come forward publicly about it, but opening up to someone you trust, if possible, can go a long way towards your healing. For women who haven’t been affected, I encourage you to keep your heart open to listen to those who have been.
Regardless if you’re a man or a woman, treat each other with the same level of respect that you expect, no matter if it’s the same or another sex as you. I hope I always treat everyone with the dignity and respect they deserve. All my friends, I know you do as well.
Leave a comment and let’s discuss this further. I hope I was able to do this subject justice.
Thanks for taking this refresher course on #MeToo 101. Be kind, be supportive.
Kaitlyn, good and sound post. The #MeToo movement was destined to happen at some point, as interpersonal hegemony between some men and women had reached its breaking point. The movement woke a lot of people up to reality; for some, it was a reminder of sad experiences and pain.
Changes within a culture take time – in some cases, generations. But your words are a reminder that folks are still thinking about interpersonal decorum and what is acceptable and what is not.
Thank you, Jeff. You’re 100% correct! I’ve got some older family that scoff at the idea of the movement, and I don’t think there’s anything that will change their mind. One of them even told me “that’s just the way things are” when we were talking about this last Christmas. I don’t know if it’s narrow-mindedness on their part or what, but it really bothered me.
This is really interesting. I didn’t know that MeToo had roots on Myspace, but I did hear recently that Myspace started as basically a networking site for bands. I’ve seen a lot of girls come forward about bands (lesser-known and well-known ones) having relationships with minors and abusive relationships, especially with fans. That’s what I’ve heard from people who were on Myspace back in the day (I personally was never on Myspace). I don’t know. I guess I feel the need to tie those two pieces of information together. My main takeaway is that when you have environments where people don’t have any reason to think they’ll be called out for their shit, then their shit will only grow and normalize. I don’t believe in shaming people, but things ALWAYS get worse when we don’t call them out and step up. Great post, thanks for sharing!
I remember arguing with my friends over who my top 8 were, and more specifically which order they fell into. That was a fun feature, heh. I don’t know exactly where I stand on what happens after someone is called out. They should apologize, yes. It should be sincere. But do we then hold it over their heads, or forgive them and move on? Maybe it depends on the seriousness of what they’d done. Some were more forcible, others more passive, and I think a certain percentage just “didn’t know better.” I just don’t want people who knew exactly what they were doing, maliciously, to hide behind that.
The classic “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is not about abuse of power. It’s a song about flirting. About falling in love. If there are people of a sensitive nature out there because of their past trauma, they may as well hide in a closet and become a hermit. you can’t change the classics. You’re erasing history. You’re erasing art and the original artist would be highly offended.The original lyrics are being misinterpreted to suit today’s culture and this is just plain wrong.
Thank you for reading this post! And I don’t disagree with you on that. To me, the song has always felt like innocent flirting, from both sides. To others, it seems to evoke emotions that I don’t think the song wasn’t intended to invoke. I think the difficulty is if the events of that song happened today, it wouldn’t be considered just innocent flirting. That being said, I’ve dated people who tried to keep me with them longer and didn’t feel pressured. I’ve dated people who didn’t suggest I stay who still managed to make me feel pressured. I find it rather strange this seems to be the only song that people have called out on it. I don’t think art should be erased, but art is meant to forward discussion. If I were the songwriter I think I’d feel pretty upset that people took this song the wrong way.
This is a really insensitive comment, particularly the “hide in a closet and become a hermit.”
Is it silly to get worked up over a song like this? Yes, I’m in agreement. It’s a cute song that was meant to be sweet. It is a classic.
Is it acceptable to insult people with a history of trauma just because they think otherwise? Absolutely not. You’re an adult. Act like one.
Also, are you the spokesperson for the artist? No. You’re not. So don’t say they’d be “highly offended” unless -you- are the artist.
You can make your point of view clearly without 1) attacking other people, and 2) speaking for other people.
Oh, and by the way, I’m a person with past trauma. I was sexually assaulted twice. I’m not hiding in a closet. I’m not a hermit. And I love this song. And also, stop hiding behind a nickname.
It took me a few minutes to compose a proper reply to you, but I felt it important that I do. I love what you said and I’m glad you said it. Hearing your thoughts, from a person with past trauma, is very important to me. Thank you for coming forward and not cowering from an offensive comment. I really admire people like you who are willing to speak their mind.
I believe men and women should treat each other with respect. Abuse is never okay. The me too movement has gained momentum over time and has helped victims of abuse come forward. It has been a positive change so far. The danger of any kind of movement is it can be manipulated by people who want to destroy others for their own gain. In other words a “witch hunt”. That is my fear of it. Do we take responsibility to how we accuse people? How far do we take it? Abusers I know should be punished, but we must take great care on how far we take it. Women are abused but so can men.
The “witch hunt” aspect of it is a really difficult thing to overcome. Where does one draw the line between what was innocent, what wasn’t appropriate, and what was abusive? I think for the most part it’s not black and white but a billion shades of grey. It’s unfortunate when people get lumped into the wrong category, and I’m sure it’s happened all the time.
One particular celebrity, who I won’t name, got caught up in it that I really don’t think should have. In my opinion, in that case, I think it was more of just inappropriate behavior and not abuse (of power), yet they were treated as if they were one of the most evil people in the world and lost quite a bit.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts while still being respectful of those who have been hurt by all this. This particular conversation is a tough balancing act, and it’s easy to say things that won’t be interpreted properly. I know this whole post and every comment I’ve left on it has been difficult to phrase just right.
It’s not fair of me to try to be just “polite” on this subject, and I realize that’s kind of what I’ve done. So here’s my stance. Every victim should feel safe and able to talk about their experiences. Every person with indiscretions should pay a fair penance (whether that’s just showing their support, apologizing privately or publicly) and be able to continue on with their lives, a better person for it. Every abuser should be held accountable while causing the least collateral damage possible. I hope the collateral damage is as limited as much as it can be with such a huge movement, but I realize there will be people who are treated unfairly, and for that I feel bad.
Thank you again, Thomas!
No problem. This was certainly a difficult topic to answer! It goes to show that abuse is like a domino effect. It hurts everyone. The abuser doesn’t only damage the victim, but society as a whole.