Baby it’s Cold Outside and the #MeToo movement.

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11 Responses

  1. Jeff Hicks says:

    Kaitlyn, good and sound post. The #MeToo movement was destined to happen at some point, as interpersonal hegemony between some men and women had reached its breaking point. The movement woke a lot of people up to reality; for some, it was a reminder of sad experiences and pain.

    Changes within a culture take time – in some cases, generations. But your words are a reminder that folks are still thinking about interpersonal decorum and what is acceptable and what is not.

    • Kaitlyn Meyers says:

      Thank you, Jeff. You’re 100% correct! I’ve got some older family that scoff at the idea of the movement, and I don’t think there’s anything that will change their mind. One of them even told me “that’s just the way things are” when we were talking about this last Christmas. I don’t know if it’s narrow-mindedness on their part or what, but it really bothered me.

  2. This is really interesting. I didn’t know that MeToo had roots on Myspace, but I did hear recently that Myspace started as basically a networking site for bands. I’ve seen a lot of girls come forward about bands (lesser-known and well-known ones) having relationships with minors and abusive relationships, especially with fans. That’s what I’ve heard from people who were on Myspace back in the day (I personally was never on Myspace). I don’t know. I guess I feel the need to tie those two pieces of information together. My main takeaway is that when you have environments where people don’t have any reason to think they’ll be called out for their shit, then their shit will only grow and normalize. I don’t believe in shaming people, but things ALWAYS get worse when we don’t call them out and step up. Great post, thanks for sharing!

    • Kaitlyn Meyers says:

      I remember arguing with my friends over who my top 8 were, and more specifically which order they fell into. That was a fun feature, heh. I don’t know exactly where I stand on what happens after someone is called out. They should apologize, yes. It should be sincere. But do we then hold it over their heads, or forgive them and move on? Maybe it depends on the seriousness of what they’d done. Some were more forcible, others more passive, and I think a certain percentage just “didn’t know better.” I just don’t want people who knew exactly what they were doing, maliciously, to hide behind that.

  3. Elf says:

    The classic “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is not about abuse of power. It’s a song about flirting. About falling in love. If there are people of a sensitive nature out there because of their past trauma, they may as well hide in a closet and become a hermit. you can’t change the classics. You’re erasing history. You’re erasing art and the original artist would be highly offended.The original lyrics are being misinterpreted to suit today’s culture and this is just plain wrong.

    • Kaitlyn Meyers says:

      Thank you for reading this post! And I don’t disagree with you on that. To me, the song has always felt like innocent flirting, from both sides. To others, it seems to evoke emotions that I don’t think the song wasn’t intended to invoke. I think the difficulty is if the events of that song happened today, it wouldn’t be considered just innocent flirting. That being said, I’ve dated people who tried to keep me with them longer and didn’t feel pressured. I’ve dated people who didn’t suggest I stay who still managed to make me feel pressured. I find it rather strange this seems to be the only song that people have called out on it. I don’t think art should be erased, but art is meant to forward discussion. If I were the songwriter I think I’d feel pretty upset that people took this song the wrong way.

    • Jessica Day says:

      This is a really insensitive comment, particularly the “hide in a closet and become a hermit.”

      Is it silly to get worked up over a song like this? Yes, I’m in agreement. It’s a cute song that was meant to be sweet. It is a classic.

      Is it acceptable to insult people with a history of trauma just because they think otherwise? Absolutely not. You’re an adult. Act like one.

      Also, are you the spokesperson for the artist? No. You’re not. So don’t say they’d be “highly offended” unless -you- are the artist.

      You can make your point of view clearly without 1) attacking other people, and 2) speaking for other people.

      Oh, and by the way, I’m a person with past trauma. I was sexually assaulted twice. I’m not hiding in a closet. I’m not a hermit. And I love this song. And also, stop hiding behind a nickname.

      • Kaitlyn Meyers says:

        It took me a few minutes to compose a proper reply to you, but I felt it important that I do. I love what you said and I’m glad you said it. Hearing your thoughts, from a person with past trauma, is very important to me. Thank you for coming forward and not cowering from an offensive comment. I really admire people like you who are willing to speak their mind.

  4. Thomas Kropp says:

    I believe men and women should treat each other with respect. Abuse is never okay. The me too movement has gained momentum over time and has helped victims of abuse come forward. It has been a positive change so far. The danger of any kind of movement is it can be manipulated by people who want to destroy others for their own gain. In other words a “witch hunt”. That is my fear of it. Do we take responsibility to how we accuse people? How far do we take it? Abusers I know should be punished, but we must take great care on how far we take it. Women are abused but so can men.

    • Kaitlyn Meyers says:

      The “witch hunt” aspect of it is a really difficult thing to overcome. Where does one draw the line between what was innocent, what wasn’t appropriate, and what was abusive? I think for the most part it’s not black and white but a billion shades of grey. It’s unfortunate when people get lumped into the wrong category, and I’m sure it’s happened all the time.

      One particular celebrity, who I won’t name, got caught up in it that I really don’t think should have. In my opinion, in that case, I think it was more of just inappropriate behavior and not abuse (of power), yet they were treated as if they were one of the most evil people in the world and lost quite a bit.

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts while still being respectful of those who have been hurt by all this. This particular conversation is a tough balancing act, and it’s easy to say things that won’t be interpreted properly. I know this whole post and every comment I’ve left on it has been difficult to phrase just right.

      It’s not fair of me to try to be just “polite” on this subject, and I realize that’s kind of what I’ve done. So here’s my stance. Every victim should feel safe and able to talk about their experiences. Every person with indiscretions should pay a fair penance (whether that’s just showing their support, apologizing privately or publicly) and be able to continue on with their lives, a better person for it. Every abuser should be held accountable while causing the least collateral damage possible. I hope the collateral damage is as limited as much as it can be with such a huge movement, but I realize there will be people who are treated unfairly, and for that I feel bad.

      Thank you again, Thomas!

      • Thomas Kropp says:

        No problem. This was certainly a difficult topic to answer! It goes to show that abuse is like a domino effect. It hurts everyone. The abuser doesn’t only damage the victim, but society as a whole.

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